Sermon: That Sinking Feeling

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That Sinking Feeling

By Rev. Julie Yarborough

August 1, 1999

the book of Matthew, when Jesus hears about the death of his cousin and friend, John the Baptist, he goes off in a boat by himself to find solitude in private, presumably to pray and process this great loss. But, as with celebrities of today, the crowds followed him and waited for him on the shore. Seeing them gathered there, Matthew tells us that Jesus felt compassion for them and went to heal those in the crowd who were sick. Jesus stayed with the masses of people late into the evening, and fed the crowd of thousands with five loaves and two fish. It is after that long day that our story takes place. We can imagine that Jesus was fairly exhausted, physically and emotionally, and in need of time alone to pray and replenish his strength. He sends the disciples on in the boat without him, dismisses the crowds, and retreats by himself to a mountaintop to pray.

Later in the evening the scene shifts: the disciples are out in the middle of the Sea of Galilee far from land, and a storm is brewing. Matthew tells us that sometime during the fourth watch of the night, between 3 and 6 a.m., Jesus walked out to the boat over the tumultuous sea. Although we may think of this as defying the law of gravity, early believers would have understood Jesus actions as overcoming chaos. In biblical times, the sea often represented the realm of demonic forces hostile to God. In the apocalyptic understanding of the book of Revelation, for example, the coming realm of God means that the sea will no longer exist. (Revelation 21:1)

When the disciples saw Jesus walking toward them on the surface of the water, they were terrified. They thought he was a ghost and cried out in fear.

Don't be afraid," Jesus calls out to them, "it is I," echoing the words of Yahweh, the great "I am." The presence of the Lord is in this place. Do not be afraid.

Peter, not quite believing this apparition, calls out, "If it is you, Lord, tell me to come to you on the water." Jesus replies, "Come." So Peter climbs out of the boat, onto the water and begins walking out to Jesus. Hes doing it! Hes walking on the water! And then he realizes that the wind is strong, and hes out there on the water doing something that shouldn't be possible, and suddenly he becomes afraid and starts to sink. "Save me, Lord!" he cries, and Jesus reaches out his hand, and catches Peter.

Peter couldn't walk on the water by himself. He knew that he could only perform this feat with the Lords help. When Jesus called him out onto the surface of the water, Peter went willingly. He began walking toward Jesus and it was only when he became distracted by outside forces and inner doubts that he began to sink.

How true this is for our lives as well. We know that there are certain things we can do only with God's help, and as long as were focused and centered on God, we feel prepared to do anything. In those moments we say faithfully with the Apostle Paul, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13) Yet, in the chaos of life that is swirling around us, there are many distractions and its easy to get sidetracked and lose our focus and our purpose. In those moments, when the wind picks up and the going gets tough, and we think that were out there all alone, we find ourselves sinking.

Sometimes we even feel like were drowning. (In an extreme example, I suspect thats what happened to Mark Barton before he went on his killing rampage this week in Atlanta, and to Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris before they entered the Columbine High School in April. They not only felt like they were drowning, they were determined to pull others under with them.)

There are outside forces of darkness that threaten our faith and cause us to doubt, but the inner voices of darkness are at times even louder to our ears. Those inner doubting voices tell us that were not good enough, were not smart enough, were not thin enough, were not young enough, were not rich enough, were not loved enough . . . If we let them, the inner voices can drown out the voice of the One who calls us the Beloved; the One who has loved us and known us since before we were brought into being. That One, who came to us in the human form of Jesus, is always present with us and ready to reach out a hand to us whenever we need it. It is our task to practice prayer and meditation, to read the Bible, to attend church and participate in Christian community, to do whatever we can to drown out those voices of fear and to listen to the voice of Love.

Id like to teach you a Taize chant this morning before we gather for communion. The words are printed on an insert in the bulletin. I invite you to take the words home with you and use this chant as a mantra, or a prayer in the coming week. I'll sing it through once now and then as you feel comfortable, please join in. Well sing it through a number of times as a prayer. Keep singing it over and over, and the last time through, I'll hold the final note so that you know not to start again.

Jesus, your light is shining within us,

Let not my doubts and my darkness speak to me.

Jesus, your light is shining within us,

Let my heart always welcome your love.

Don't be afraid," he calls out to us. "I am here with you in the midst of the chaos." Listen to the voice of the one who calls you the Beloved. Know that we are not alone, even in the midst of whatever storms are brewing at this time in our lives. We are not powerful enough to conquer chaos on our own, but we don't have to be: there is One who has conquered it for us with his death on the cross. He died that we might have life and have it abundantly, and he walks with us throughout our lives, offering us his hand, lifting us up, even carrying us when necessary.

Those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

Amen.