Living Out of Joy
By Charles Rush
December 12, 2010
Lk. 1: 5-17
[ Audio
(mp3, 7.3Mb) ]
worked as an Emergency Room Chaplain when I was in Divinity School. You have two conflicting observations from the get go. We would get homeless guys that had been detained for a variety of reasons and they would dry out for a couple three weeks. There wasn't much they could do for this process, except tie them to the bed with towels. They would moan, sweat, shake, curse at you, and eventually they would stop. At this point, we might clean them up for the first time in a couple years, sometimes a stunning transformation. But, as they are indigent care patients, the Social Worker would have to ask them whether they wanted to continue treatment for alcohol or be released to the street. Everyone I ever saw chose to be released. And I'd run into them a week later, a few blocks away, under a cardboard box, smoking a pack of Kools and working on bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 during my lunch break. I would think to myself “Humans are like rats, no matter how much poison you pack, somehow we can filter that”.
At the same
time, you are struck by the fragility of life. You would leave the hospital on
Friday, come back Monday morning, and a patient that had seemed stable, would
take a turn for the worse, and in such a short amount of time, they would be so
tentative. You can just see how a seemingly small amount of toxin from a
failing liver or kidney could completely change someone's personality, their
judgment, sometimes even their will to live. The human body is such a complex,
delicate organism…
It is out of
that sense of fragility that our texts of hope are written. That is the
backdrop. For better and worse, the Bible presumes that the world was broken
when we got here. It presumes that we are intimately acquainted with those
times of life when our health is compromised, when resources are insufficient,
when existence is precarious and marginal.
We who are
gathered here this morning only know of this dimension of human existence but
it hasn't been defining for us, not like it must have been those of earlier
epochs that lived on the edge of human history (most or all of their lives).
It also
contains a bit of a bleak resignation to it. At the end of the novel
“Catch-22”, Yossarian is in the bombed out ruin of Rome at the end of World War
2. The Americans have reduced a good part of the city to rubble. And he runs into a
very old man sitting in the dark, reflectively smoking a cigarette as the ashes
rise in the distance and piles of rubble are all around him. Yossarian is
lamenting the tragic-farcical wanton destruction of warfare and he asks the old Italian man what he is going to do now that everything
has been destroyed.
The Old Man is
quiet for a while. Finally he says, “first came the
Greeks, then came the Romans, then came the Vikings, then came the British, then
came the Germans, and now come the Americans. We out waited all of them and we
will out wait you.” 2500 years of history and the peasants are still just
waiting out whatever regime takes over power for ill or for good. The
Israelites were not history makers either. They were, for the most part,
trampled on and left to pick up the pieces when the latest Imperial power had
decided to abandon its momentary claim on Jerusalem and move on. That is the
stagnant back ground of quiet desperation and low-grade despair.
Our story of
the stirring birth of the Christ Child captures our imagination, partly because
it so much a part of the lived human experience over so many generations. Like
the great country song.
Who doesn't know what I'm
talking about
Who's never left home, who's never
struck out
To
find a dream and a life of their own
A
place in the clouds, a foundation of stone
Many
precede and many will follow
A
young girl's dream no longer hollow
It
takes the shape of a place out west
But
what it holds for her, she hasn't yet guessed.[i]
What makes our
young people so rash that they can drop everything that they have known, strike
out together in a crazy romantic direction together with almost no plan, few
resources, only their talents and love for each other? As a Parent, it fills
you with deep anxiety doesn't it? The funny thing is that when I did it, it
really seemed like a perfectly rational thing to do and I was disturbingly
confident that it would somehow all work out and a whole lot better, come what
may, than an of the alternatives. Crazy, infectious,
compelling, what a great way to live. Ann Landers once said, “Rose
colored glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to read the small
print in dreams”… No they don't… And there will be details that need to be
worked out.
Like housing? No Joseph didn't actually have a room reservation, nor did
he know an ob/gyn in Bethlehem.
There are details. (Oy gevalt!)
But I suppose
it is the most universal spiritual experience, the wonder of being pregnant. In
the long course of human history, pregnancy has almost always come at the wrong time and
yet is almost always the right time- at least in retrospect. That sense of
wonder just starts to grow in your soul and your girlfriend is changing and you
are changing too, who woulda thunk?
And there is definitely anxiety about how this will all work out, but you can't
help it, there is some expectation too… And waiting, and waiting, and more waiting (“come
one already enough is enough”). And, when the time actually comes for the birth
itself- if you are surrounded by your friends, relatives, just the people that
you love and are closest to, safe and supported- the birth itself is just one of the most
marvelous spiritual passages of our lives.
Even my A type,
emotionally truncated guy friends are like “whoa, this is so much bigger than
me… I'm totally overwhelmed by what this is going to require from me and I've
never had a job I'd rather fulfill. It is going to be great. It just will be…
even though I have no idea what I am doing.”
Of course, not
all births go so well, and not all of them can you experience quite that way
because of medication, but even with complications, even when things don't go
well, it is still a wonder, a kind of miracle that you participated in. You've
been dinged with a blessing of the miracle tinged part of human existence.
All of a
sudden, the world around you seems hyper-vivid for a while. You feel bright
inside, like you are glowing. You are aware and you want to drink in all of the
sensations coming at you. You are playful, easily humored. You want to jump in
and get involved.[ii]
Isaiah says, “Arise and Shine; for your light has come, and the glory of
the Lord has risen upon you… and all of the Nations shall come to you bringing
the wealth of the world… peace shall be your leader and righteousness your
guide” (60:1, 5, 17) A new day is dawning…
That is the
radiant wonder of joy. Real joy! Can you remember when you felt real joy?
Curiously,
researchers in psychology at the moment, have
identified joy as one of many traits that happen when we are living out of our
positive energy, and this we can do almost all of the time, at least theoretically.
These are components of a life that is intrinsically fulfilling.[iii]
What are the
characteristics besides joy?
Gratitude, the
appreciation you have for those around you and before you that made possible
the good and the simple things you enjoy routinely. It opens your heart and you
want to give back, not out of quid pro quo but with some abandon because you
are savoring this goodness and you want others to experience it.
Serenity,
closely related to joy… It is when you've just painted something that really
came together just so, when you are at one with the sunset over the beach in
the evening, when your spouse really hugs you back in an Alpine ski lodge under
a big pile of blankets. For me, it was last summer lying down with my
granddaughter Ava, who fell asleep on my chest, for an afternoon nap (the fan
humming, the sun dappling through our huge Black Walnut tree, and this child so
relaxed and confident that whatever might come, her grandfather will handle it).
Gardening, birding, whatever allows you a moment of oneness. Whatever it is, you
need to do more of it, you know you do… Serenity.
Interest, when
you want to know, really need to know, want to learn a new skill. It is the
chase when you are falling in love. You are fascinated, exploring, you are in
active discovery mode. You are open, you are changing and “you can literally
feel your horizons expanding in real time, and with
them your own possibilities”. (Fredrickson)
Hope, which acknowledges that the dangers and desperation that are
so close at hand. Hope is a positive response in the darkness, in the
tumult and chaos of life. Hope deeply believes that things can change and that
possibilities exist even in the midst of calamity.
Positive
self-image that comes from achieving important things and so have a genuine
self-respect and optimism that you are up to the task and going to make a
difference, no matter what the challenge. It is the unspoken confidence that
what you bring to the table will be valued by others. It turns out that people
that are slightly delusional about their ability are actually happier and able
to achieve more and withstand more setback. But thank
God for these people. They got in the boat to discover the New World. Positive self-image.
Amusement in the midst of incongruity. You could be annoyed
or irritated- gridlock traffic, idiotic bureaucracy with health insurance,
beyond stupid regulations from a government agency (This incongruity list is
very long for New Yorker's)- but that frustration is
channeled positively through wit and humor, not changing the situation to be
sure, but dissolving the negative atmosphere that these negative situations invariably
create. You run the rapids around the rocks with humor. Amusement.
Inspiration… It
is allowing yourself to be uplifted and motivated by
examples of integrity, authenticity, what is possible and highest in human
existence. It is wanting something more, something
better, and committing your life in that direction. Maybe it makes a lot of
money in the process, maybe it doesn't, but it contributes to the well being of
all of us. Inspiration.
Awe, which is closely related to inspiration. It is being
filled with the overwhelming mystery and wonder of our world, sometimes by the
sheer majesty of the natural order like watching the herds of migrating animals
on the great Serenghetti Plain in the heart of Africa,
or a great work of Art like Handel's Messiah at this time of year, or a great
human feat like watching Michael Jordan turn basketball into ballet or watching
Albert Einstein do the math that leads to that moment when you have to re-think
how you have conceived of the universe up until now. It is the great, “Aha”! You absorb the power
of greatness and are uplifted with potential.
And Love. St.
Paul described it as the thing which binds all things together in a perfect
harmony. Psychologists, at the moment, are apt to describe love as the
composite of joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, self-respect, amusement,
inspiration, and awe. Your spouse, your deep friends- they bring you joy; you
are appreciative and grateful; in their presence you are content; you find them
interesting; they open the future; you admire them and think they are capable;
you can find a laugh even in trying situations; you are inspired; and you can't
actually say it, but subconsciously you are communicating to yourself, “Man,
life is just great, I'm glad to be alive.” It is what we value in important
friendships and important relatives. And I suppose it is that contentment we
are all hoping to find out there in the future. I was watching a show on the
neurology of love that featured a couple of Prairie Dogs that have the same
hormone, oxytocin, released that gives us this feeling of contentment you are
loving and being loved. It showed the two of them sitting shoulder to shoulder
watching the world together, like that was just fine for both of them. Apparently,
they spend hours a day, just being together. Somehow I don't think that day
will ever get here quite, at least not for couples in New York, but it is a
cute image.
This is the way
we are when we are living out of our positive energy. These are the symptoms of
living fulfilling life. These are the things we remember when we are reflective
about what makes our life worth living. What strikes me, coming as it does from
the psychology department, is that it is a short summary of the spiritual
approach to life that Jesus taught us. It is not exhaustive but a great start.
Jesus taught us that we are each children of God, so live out of that blessing.
Be compassionate; orient yourself around reconciliation; pray for the things
that make for peace; live your life with the joie d'vivre of a wedding party;
help others; inspire someone to rise to their higher self; take in the mystery,
the wonder, sometimes really the miracle of life and celebrate the way that
transcendence simply does break through the ordinary in our lives from time to
time.
St. Francis,
who was clearly an odd duck, but who actualized his positive energy in a
primary way, once said “Such love does the sky now pour, that whenever I stand
in a field, I have to wring the light out when I get home.” You know those
moments in your life, you've had them. It is too good… really too good… you
could wring out light in those moments.
Obviously we
can't stay in that space. It is one of the many differences between our great
Metropolis and the pastoral countryside of Assisi. We have transcendent moments
too in our great Exurbia, but a few minutes from now, some bastard is going to
ask you for a toll, another bastard will cut you off before you get to the
booth and flip you the Jersey State Bird as he does it. Welcome home.
There is no
question that our weekly grind blunts our capacity to be open to joy. Ironically,
in this season when we lift up the virtue of Joy, even the way we over schedule
and overbuy and overdo our entire existence, creates a
busyness that spiritually inoculates us against actually participating in the
reason for the season. We know that.
Joy in
inherently fleeting. New Yorkers, in particular, might come all undone if we had
to live that way all of the time. Perhaps that is the point! One of the most
comical exchanges of my thirty year marriage began with Kate's unvarnished
observation, “Honey, you were a lot more interesting when I didn't know you so
well”… Ain't that the truth.
Yes, there is the rest of our life, that complicates positivity doesn't it?
Perhaps, it is
a trick of nature that we get so much distance out of the fleeting character of
joy. That wonder of birth, of course, eventually gives way to crass children
that are a pain in the rump… But maybe that fleeting joy is all we actually need.
Because those moments of genuine joy- the really genuine moments of joy- they
come to us like a personal gift, tinged with eternity. How odd of God to gift
us in this way…
That is what we
remember. That is what we do. Christmas is not about getting, although it is
wonderful and fun to receive. Christmas is about gifting. When it works- and
I'm not talking at all about our commercial approach to Christmas- But when it
works, you demonstrate that you know your loved one- you get them- and your
“gift” demonstrates care, appreciation, value. They get to experience that they
are, indeed,
in fact, a child of God.
And you know
what? Only you can do that. Only you can be the messenger. It is not the same
if they hear it from a distance. They need to see it from you. They need to hear it from you.
I love our
ridiculous Christmas pageant, with all of the Angels whacking each other with
their halo's and wands… I love it partly because I can
see them, for a moment, as Adults. There is the future head of Risk Management at
Citigroup, the future teacher in Hoboken… And I think to myself,
before it is all said and done, “you will be an Angel for someone”. They have
no idea in those little costumes. Isn't that the beauty of it?
Maybe not today. Maybe not this week, but I want you to
remember the Truth of this season. You are an Angel too. It is not the only
thing you do, probably not the primary thing that you do. But it is the best
thing that you will do, and probably it is the most important thing that you
will do. Show them that you care. Live your life, returning regularly to the
mode of care. Live into your Angel. Crusty? Perhaps… Hardened by realpolitik? Probably.
Compromised and inconsistent? Undoubtedly…
We have a pair of wings especially fitted for you too. Amen.
[i]
The Dixie Chicks, “Wide Open Spaces”
[ii]
Taken from Barbara Fredrickson's book on the psychology of Positivity
(New York: Random House, 2009), p. 40, 41.
[iii]
These are Fredrickson's list from her team.
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.
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