A Grace-Based Approach to Lent
By Charles Rush
March 1, 1998
Hebrews 12: 1-2
came across an article this week, one woman's reflection on the
change of motherhood. "Time is running out for my friend. We are
sitting at lunch when she casually mentions that she and her husband
are thinking of starting a family. What she means is that her
biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is being forced to
consider the prospect of motherhood.
We're taking a survey' she says half-joking.'
‘Do you think I should have a baby?'
It will change your life' I say, keeping my neutral tone.
"I know', she says. ‘No more sleeping in on Saturdays, no
more spontaneous vacations.
But that is not what I mean at all. I want to tell her that the
physical wounds of childbearing heal, but the emotional vulnerability
is forever. I consider warning her that she will never read a
newspaper again without thinking ‘What if that had been my
child?' I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit
and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother
means that when she hears the cry of ‘mother' in a crowded
room will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her
cub.
I want to warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in
her career, one day she will be going to an important meeting and she
will think about her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use
every ounce of discipline to keep from running home.
I want my friend to know that a five-year-old boy's desire to go
to the men's room rather than the women's room at
McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the
midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of
independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect
that a child molester may be lurking in the restroom.
Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that her life,
now so important, will be of less value to her. That she would give it
up in a moment to save her offspring but will also begin to hope for
more years - not to accomplish her own dreams but to watch her son
accomplish his.
I want to tell her that her relationship with her husband will change,
but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much
more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who
never hesitates to play with his daughter. I think she should know
that she will fall in love again with her husband for reasons she would
now find very unromantic.
I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child
learn to do a back hand spring. I want to capture for her the belly
laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first
time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.
My friend's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed
in my eyes. "You'll never regret it." I say finally. Then I
reach across the table, squeeze my friend's hand, and offer a
prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortal women who stumble
their way into this holiest of callings."
Change is inevitable. Some of us will wait until the last minute to
make the necessary changes and find ourselves so over-prepared that we
have trouble letting go. Others of us change so fast that the newness
of our life is overwhelming. But the one sure fact is that we will not
stay here forever.
We are entering a season of change in the Christian calendar, the
season of Lent. It remembers the trials that Jesus went through
Spiritually when he was tempted by Satan, retreated into the desert,
fasted, prayed, and became spiritually strong to fulfill the difficult
mission that God had commissioned him to do. Former eras overly
stressed the self-denial part of this process of spiritual
transformation. Surely that is because a thousand years ago, people
regularly ran out of food through the winter, ran out of wine and
beer. So they underscored the virtue of being able to go without and
it is an important virtue in its context.
We don't connect with that much in this era. Rather than lift
up the virtue of denial in our era, we are more inclined to focus on
designing a system whereby we have plenty of food and beer to last
through the whole year. Ours is the first generation in history to
have a continuous, year round supply, of fresh fruit - in the summer
from California and Florida, in the winter from Chile and Brazil, etc.
But spiritual transformation is important and spiritual discipline
is important too. It makes us well rounded. It gets our souls in
shape and it gives us abilities and tools to respond more creatively
and maturely to the vicissitudes of life.
We all know about the model of success that says dig one well very
deep. And people who have one skill that they turn into a tremendous
living surround us. An acquaintance of mine is a medical specialist.
90% of the operations he does are for one kind of heart surgery.
People come from all over the world to have him do that one operation.
He likes to jest ‘that is all they will let me do'. And he
makes a fairly big pile of money doing it. It is a fine life but it
lacks rounded balance. There is a lot of pressure on the single
fulcrum of that one surgical procedure.
It seems to me that Spiritual roundedness would be more analogous
to a person that is able to respond to a variety of different
situations like a great hiker. They are able to work with whatever
basic elements they are given, put them together creatively and
effectively, and not only survive but find something profound and
touching in the situation. A spiritually attuned person packs the
right gear and knows not to pack too much. They would keep a rhythm to
life to limit the number of times when they are overstressed and have
to face a crisis drained. A spiritually attuned person understands the
processes of nature and learns to adapt to them, going with the grain.
And you have to be in shape, to be alert to your changing surroundings,
to have endurance because there will be challenges that push us to the
edge. A spiritually attuned person would be able to get along with
other people, work with them, celebrate with them, bring out the best
that they have to offer and yet they would also be able to be at home
in their solitude. Success would be measured here in terms of balance,
centerdness, responsiveness, creativity, and openness.
Change is inevitable; the question is whether we can respond to it
creatively, maturely, spiritually. The disciplines of spirituality are
designed to get us into shape for the journey. They require effort but
they are not simply negative. They are resources that give us
abilities in new areas.
I mention only one today that I hope you will try for the next 40
days, meditative prayer. As a culture, we don't spend enough time
in silence, centering ourselves, allowing ourselves to empty and be
filled. The staff put together a guide for you for the next 40 days.
Each day has a single thought for the day. I hope you take this home
and read one each day. Then sometime during the day, I hope you find a
space where you can be completely quiet. Completely quiet is a very
full space. I want you to get in a comfortable sitting position with
your back straight. Then slow down your breathing, taking longer
breaths in and out. With each breath in, feel yourself being filled
with the Spirit of God. With each breath out, let go of the tension,
anxiety, and distraction of this world. Close your eyes and focus on a
point just beyond the end of your nose. Zone in on that point with
your concentration. Take one word that sums up the thought for the day
or one word that you need to focus (because that is what you need) like
‘love'. And be completely present in the moment. Don't
think of the future. If extraneous fantasies enter your consciousness,
run them away. Often you can do that by repeating the simple word or
phrase. Let the tension in your muscles relax. Feel yourself being
filled.
Sometimes you will find yourself fidgeting, irritated, filled with
all sorts of thoughts. Don't worry about that. It happens to
everyone at first. It is just like when you go to the gym for the
first time in a long time. Your head hurts, your body feels tired, you
ache. It's worse than before.
In meditation, you are exercising your powers of concentration and
centerdness. Like anything, the step from zero to one feels like quite
a leap. So only try 10 minutes. And give yourself another 5 minutes
after that to re-emerge. You are getting in touch with your center so
you will be more aware of your surroundings when you come out and it
takes a moment to re-connect.
What you are doing is planting one positive thought, focusing
yourself, letting that soak into your being. In the process you are
taking control of the direction of your transformation. Because if you
don't, the tensions of the day will. If you don't take
control of the direction of your transformation, the agenda of your
business will. If you don't, the demands that your children and
your community have on you will. These different demands are not
antithetical. But it does take spiritual attunement to integrate them
all creatively, to blend them, to go with the grain. Begin by being
filled with God. Find the tool of centering meditation that will make
you rounded.
This season of change, take control of the direction you are
changing. Allow the Spirit of God to center you, fill you, and give
you new powers.
Amen.
___________________________
Canfield, Jack and Marc Hanson.
Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul, p. 164-6.
© 1998 .
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